Fakenger than thou

Everyone has their favourite stupid fakenger* story, usually involving aerospokes coordinated with faux-hawks, or comedy crashes when riding brakeless with no foot retention. But the one Liam (Fullcity’s chief mechanic and resident dirty mind) told me the other day trumps them all.

He was riding around last weekend, spotted a chap on a bike with a radio strapped to his bag**, pulled up companionably next to him at the lights, and asked “you a courier then?”, indicating the radio.

“No mate,” responded the chap, “I just like the way it looks”.

…to which Liam didn’t really know how to respond. And neither do I.

I don’t have any fakenger photos handy, so here’s a picture of Liam with his new bike.

* Fakenger = fake messenger, i.e. a hipster with more money than sense, who buys into the traditional bike messenger style (track bike, courier bag, spoke cards, etc.), but isn’t actually a messenger. Universally mocked, and sometimes secretly envied (“wish I could afford a frame like that…”).

**Not that it’s entirely unusual for couriers to be seen with their radios outside of working hours. If you see a courier still wearing a radio on Saturday, chances are they got lucky the previous evening, and haven’t been home yet (or were just too drunk to remember where they lived***).

*** [Edit: 23/05/10] I was joking when I wrote this, but the other night I met a chap who, a couple of weeks earlier, had got so drunk he couldn’t find his house, so went to sleep in a nearby park, and woke up in the morning to find that his bike had disappeared. Which really sucks.

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3 Responses to “Fakenger than thou”

  1. Bill Says:

    Ha!

  2. thatmessengerchick Says:

    A (different) chap on a bike once asked me at the traffic lights why so many cyclists were wearing radios. “Is there, like, some kind of network?” I explained the concept of a cycle courier, but didn’t know whether to be more amused at his ignorance, or outraged that anyone would think I was such a wanker to belong to a network of people riding round London all day, talking to each other on two-way radios, just for the hell of it.

  3. Twitch/ Papa 27 Says:

    I am assuming your mate realised the rider with the radio was joking… I have met fakengers who had radio holster, docket book style clipboards… but never one with an actual radio.

    I got asked if I was cop (best to say yes to kids sizing up yer bike)/ a security guard/ if I could get capital fm.. amongst other stupid questions. I think if your from london/ a major economic city the idea of a bike messenger isn’t so alien but I guess some people never experince us till they run into us and wonder what the fuck we are doing?

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