Cock-tale dress

Remember that black-tie event I mentioned? It was last Tuesday.

I wore a dress, heels and make-up, and when he saw me, one of my colleagues said

“Phwoar, they’d better not sit me next to you! I’ll be perving over you all night – won’t be able to face you in the morning.”

Oh god. Worse than I could possibly have imagined. I’m never wearing a dress in public again.

The only good thing to come out of this is that I’ve realized that a lot of the sexism I deal with on a daily basis isn’t really that bad. True, postroom guys persist in calling me ‘love’ and ‘sweetie’, which I dislike, but they do it with a lot more respect and friendliness than the guy above (well, that wouldn’t be difficult), and quite a few of them actually call me ‘mate’. And most of them are far too decent to openly inform a girl that she’ll be featuring in tonight’s sexual fantasies, which is effectively what he did.

I’m still outraged. I didn’t think people could get away with saying things like that in this day and age. Especially not in a professional context. If I wasn’t a self-employed subcontractor, with no rights or status to speak of, I might consider doing something about it.

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15 Responses to “Cock-tale dress”

  1. Veronica Says:

    I personally got over it and now I am using it to my own advantages. You can get anything from the guys when you know how to use those charms. It may look cranky but that’s the only i found to get my self-esteem back is to consider mens as idiots.

  2. Exenger of Doom Says:

    Just use it to get free food and drinks. People who buy a girl drinks all night because of their cleavage deserve to be milked for all they’re worth

  3. thatmessengerchick Says:

    Urgh.

    But I REALLY don’t want to start assuming all men are stupid, or using my cleavage to take advantage of them. (And I’d like to point out that I wasn’t showing any cleavage the other night – and my skirt went down past my knees.) That would just be perpetuating the problem. And it’s grossly unfair on men. I wish wankers like the above would stop giving the rest of them a bad name – and I wish some women would stop encouraging them by carrying on with the whole cleavage-for-a-drink economy. It’s so demeaning, to all parties.

    And I have other ways of sourcing free food and drinks. 😉

  4. Exenger of Doom Says:

    Let me guess: educating them with lengthy explanations of the etymology of uncommon English verbs, in exchange for strong cocktails that they hope will dumb you down and make you start talking about Big Brother?

  5. Exenger of Doom Says:

    Delete that

  6. Exenger of Doom Says:

    (please)

  7. Redbike Says:

    Remind me never to call you ‘Duck’.
    (Don’t ask, its a Stoke thing).

  8. trio25 Says:

    But surely by never wearing a dress in public again you are basically saying he has won? In some ways its the same as those who say “she deserved it” due to what she was wearing.

    • thatmessengerchick Says:

      Well, it’s not really a competition, and I doubt his goal was to frighten me into never wearing a dress again. And at the moment I’m not looking for pride or victory – I just want to be left alone.

  9. genuine Says:

    Do blokes whinge about being called mate, geezer or fellah? dunno, I say girl, like as in ..cheers girl. yeah but you should have worn that Badger outfit.

  10. genuine Says:

    and i dont mind be called darling or even sweetheart.

  11. thatmessengerchick Says:

    I don’t always mind – it depends who’s doing it, and what their intention is. Friends can call me what they like, and if a really nice postroom guy calls me sweetie or something, and I can tell that’s just his way of being friendly, then I do try to grin and bear it. And when angry cabbies tell me to “fuck off darling” I usually laugh at the absurdity of it.

    I just don’t like it though, with all its implications of patriarchal hegemonic possessiveness. And if you were to look at me, you’d see how inappropriate it is – I’m not a sweet little girly type at all.

    And yes, I am a big hairy feminist. Not going to apologize for it.

  12. Kirk Says:

    I have spoken to some of my drinking buddies. we are not the most enlightened types, some might call us rednecks. And all we can say is, “That guy is an asshole.”You don’t say that shit, you can tell a lady she looks hot but tellin’ her she’ll be the star of your whack fantasy, well a gentlemen keeps it to himself.

    • thatmessengerchick Says:

      Ah Kirk! Thank you. Both for carrying out sociological research on my behalf as far away as Anchorage, and for restoring a little bit of my faith in mankind. I’m rather touched.

      I AM going to ride over and see you one day, by the way. You may think that’s a idle threat, but it’s not.

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